Monday, August 16, 2010

Four Months Later.....

MY DEAR SWEET MAMA, I've thought about you every day since you've been gone. There was so much I should have told you when I had the chance. It probably doesn't matter much right now, to you, but it does to me.

I should have told you how much I admired your courage, strength and perseverance. You went at everything with all the energy you had, and got it done. When you started something, you finished it. Laziness was not in your daily schedule. I learned a lot about hard work from you and Daddy. It certainly paid off for the two of you. Maybe someday it will for me, too.

I know you had a hard life, but you didn't let it stop you from looking to the future while taking care of the present. When anxiety and depression became your companions you pushed ahead in spite of them. You accomplished more in one day than some of us do in a month, even from your wheelchair. You always did the best you could with what you had to work with.

When you sensed your days on earth were coming to an end, you took care of all the important issues that you could. You left beautiful messages for each of your children to keep and read as a reminder of your love and care for us. I have mine memorized......

Sometimes I can hardly believe you are not here. Even though I know I will see you again, I still miss you so badly that I hurt. I want to feel my check next to yours and smell the soft scent of peppermint on your breath. "I love you SO much!" still echoes through my mind when I think of you. I heard you say it so many times, just like that.

I didn't do nearly enough to show my love to you, to spend more time with you and let you know how important you were and are to me. As you watch me from where you are, I hope you will be pleased with your efforts to teach me the things you knew would help me survive and find happiness in this life.

I love you with all my heart.

Save me a place beside you at your Table!

Blowing kisses to you, Mama.......

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