Wednesday, July 14, 2010

How Do I Spell RELIEF?


It's been a long four years, but we think we have received the correct diagnosis for Will's latest set of symptoms. Among the list are fatigue, hoarseness (the few words he now says only come out after clearing his throat several times), occasional dizziness, [the appearance of] loss of interest, loss of concentration, a general feeling of un-wellness, etc.

We are now learning to adjust to Hypothyroidism. Hopefully the [loose] diagnosis of parkinsonism will be thrown out altogether, in the near future. As scary as hypo is, parkinsonism was seriously depressing me.

About five weeks ago Will had his first appointment with a new doc (we have given him the title of Saint Clifton, since he has probably helped save Will's life for the moment). A lengthy discussion took place between St. C and us, blood was drawn and all results received. Will started his new meds and already seems a little happier and livelier, which, of course, makes me feel better.

I am so grateful for the progress that I can see taking place in Will. As a mother, there is nothing more heartbreaking than watching one of your children suffering right before your eyes and not being able to do anything about it without some help. Help does come, though, in a variety of ways. We don't always understand those ways while in the midst of the crisis. Sometimes we have to let some time pass and the dust settle before we can see the picture a little more clearly. From an Eternal perspective, everything happens for a reason. There is a Plan. Frequently, included in the plan is letting go of someone we love for now. I'm not sure I know how to do that just yet.....

I don't know how long I will be blessed with my son's presence in this life, but I do know, with no doubt, I will see him again when our lives on earth have ended. There is great comfort and relief in knowing certain things and having answers to the questions that really matter.

I am also grateful to know there is a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior in charge of everything. We can leave our troubles at their feet when they are too heavy to carry. I know we are loved more than we can comprehend at this moment in time, but it's really nice to have a little glimpse of it anyway.

We are relieved to have answers that [hopefully] will help Will. I'm also comforted by the fact that if the answers had been entirely different, we would have gotten through it -- with faith in the promise of blessings beyond measure -- if we endure all things well, until the end.

For now, this is one mother who is counting some of those blessings, one minute at the time......

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